When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Randomize
