we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
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