Define "chronic" masturbator.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Randomize
