her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
