Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
you win again, gameday.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize