I can text with my tongue
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
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