Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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