on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
