So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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