Only a mothe r could love this liver
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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