so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
honey bunches of taint.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
