oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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