I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
