plz talk dirty to me
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Randomize
