doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
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