Those balls look pretty dangerous.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
