3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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