Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
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