They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Randomize
