Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
