I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Randomize
