doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
