Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Randomize
