Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
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