I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
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