Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Randomize
