The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize