I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
