Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
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