can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
