shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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