I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Randomize
