I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
My pussy is not your playground.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Randomize
