she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Randomize
