The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
I enjoy the company of your penis
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
