I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
