Tell her she can't have a vagina
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
