Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
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