whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
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