I saw his package. It spoke to me.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Randomize
