How'd it feel making her break her religion?
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Randomize
