I'm going to rape someone's good day.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
