She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Say something about gay babies.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Randomize