she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
Randomize
