Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
