Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
