no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
