I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
