She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
My breasts were aching with rage.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
