dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I just threw up on my dentist
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
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