he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Randomize
