the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
I have post one night stand depression
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