Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Randomize
