Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
