If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
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