I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize