A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
and you fell through a lawn chair
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Randomize
