hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
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