Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
and she was petting her beer can
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
Randomize
