You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
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