It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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