holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
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