Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Alive.
So much puke
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
