How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
