I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
i out mim tonsoeep
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