Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Randomize
