Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
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